i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
