JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
