I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I love black thongs
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
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