Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
