it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
