I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
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