i may or may not be watching the land before time
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
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