i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
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