I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
