its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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