Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
