3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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