so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I pour the whiskey from now on
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Randomize
