Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
