The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
