it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
My vagina just clenched in fear
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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