Grow some girl-balls and come out already
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
