garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
