The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Let's paint friendship bongs
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
