I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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