is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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