Small penises have feelings too.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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