Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Randomize
