She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
