i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Randomize
