cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
