No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
