why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
Randomize
