he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
