IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
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