So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
