four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
