so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Randomize
