none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
