Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
