The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
