You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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