you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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