if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
