They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
