I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
