When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Terrible idea I love it
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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