I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
