god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
