Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
