id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
