people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
