Small penises have feelings too.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
