wat bout pragnant strippers??
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
