You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
