i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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