I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
