ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
