I am in a vortex of obligation.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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